I recently spent some time at a professional development course on performance psychology. Much of it was framed around elite athletes, but what struck me was how closely their challenges mirror those of the professionals I work with. The high need for control and certainty, the perfectionism, the sensitivity to how others see them, the self-criticism — they show up just as often in a boardroom as they do on the field.
One idea in particular has stayed with me, because it runs against what most high performers believe about themselves: you don’t need to feel confident to perform well.
Confidence is a feeling, not a foundation
When the pressure is on, a lot of us wait to feel confident before we act. We treat confidence as the thing that has to be in place first. The trouble is that confidence is a feeling, and feelings move. Some days you wake up sure of yourself; other days, facing the same task, you don’t. If your performance depends on feeling confident, it now rests on something that shifts day to day, often for no clear reason.
It’s worth noting where the word comes from. Confidence derives from the Latin for “with trust.” So the real question isn’t whether you feel confident — it’s what you’re placing your trust in. Your feelings on the day, or the skills, knowledge, and preparation you’ve built over time?
That second thing is competence, and it’s far steadier. Your skills don’t disappear because you slept badly or had a rough morning. Competence is the strong foundation you build through practice and preparation. It’s your successes and your failures. It’s everything you’ve learned and the skills you’ve gained. And here’s the thing… it ‘s there for you whether or not the feeling of confidence turns up. Shifting your trust from how you feel to your preparation is one of the more freeing moves a high performer can make.
So what is performance, really?
If performance isn’t about feeling a certain way, what is it?
The definition that landed for me was this: performance is putting your attention on what matters, making room for discomfort, and taking action in line with your values. This view draws on acceptance and commitment therapy, which I use often in my work, and it reframes the whole task. Notice what’s missing from it. There’s no requirement to feel calm, certain, or confident first. You can feel anxious and still perform. You can have doubts and still do the work. And yes, even elite athletes feel anxious when they step out onto the field. What elite athletes understand is that the feelings are allowed to be there; they learn how to perform even under intense pressure.
This matters because so much effort goes into trying to feel the “right” way before performing — calm, ready, sure. That effort is costly. It pulls your attention onto your internal state, which is exactly the wrong place for it when something important is happening.
The real skill is attention
Which brings me to the part of the course I found most useful: attention.
There’s a helpful distinction between thinking and attention. Thinking is the content running through your mind. Attention is what your mind is actually making contact with in a given moment. Under pressure, attention tends to get pulled toward the internal noise — am I anxious, do I feel ready, what will they think of me — and away from the task in front of you.
Here’s the encouraging part: attention is trainable. It isn’t a fixed trait; it’s closer to a skill you can strengthen. And skilled attention isn’t about removing every distraction or silencing every doubt — that’s not possible, and trying is exhausting. It’s about noticing when your attention has been pulled away and bringing it back to what matters. The best performers aren’t the ones who never get distracted. They’re the ones who recover their attention, again and again, and return it to the task at hand.
Attention also tends to hold steadier when it’s connected to something that matters to you — your values, the process, the next useful action — rather than the outcome, or to how you’re feeling about yourself in the moment.
Where does this leave you?
If you take one thing from this, let it be a question to ask yourself when the pressure rises: where is my attention right now? If it’s caught up in monitoring how confident or calm you feel, that’s useful information — it means your attention has drifted to the wrong place. Gently bring it back to the task, and trust the work you’ve put in rather than the feeling on the day.
You don’t have to feel confident. You need to be competent, and you need to know where to put your attention. The feelings, whatever they happen to be, can come along for the ride.
If you’re a professional who performs under pressure and you’d like support building these skills, you can book a free 15-minute intake call to explore how coaching psychology with Uplift Psychology might help.
Disclaimer – this newsletter is for education and information purposes only. It does not constitute individual advice. The information contained in this newsletter may not be applicable or appropriate for everyone. If you need support, consider seeking individualised support from a qualified health professional.
